Sick baby

Bonding after my cluster party.... She was feeling sick already... Now she's sicker and my day has gone from bad to worse. :-( This day has not been a good one nor was yesterday. Today, after all this time that I try to reserve myself because of that thought that he truly loves me, has gone to waste. I believe I had paid whatever debts I have with this person. I wish I could've answered the same way he did," I dated a couple of times... " But I couldn't. He even said this girl was from Green Bay and I had ten million questions in my mind, but when I sat looking at the screen, hurt and not one question popped out, I knew. I didn't want to involve myself anymore with this insanity. A-anne smoked with me and I had to tell her a little and said, "you were fine Ira... Stop letting him hurt you more." I guess me not asking anything to him was the key. I'm tired. Tomorrow will be a new day. Who gives a fuck about his life, who he dates and gets involved with. I have so much people who cares about me and I care for. He doesn't deserve Sam and I was right. Very right. All the times he asked about her, now I know they were all lies. Someday, I'll find that person. I'll find that soulmate. Coz' I'm fucking stupid to think he was. For the rest of my life, I'll live travelling and make sure I never travel along his path. And Feb, I'll start. To hell with assholes who cover themselves with intelligence. They don't know how to love and I'm sure, anyone who will try to love him will end up PATHETIC.

Tomorrow, I won't hurt anymore. Sam and I will start forgetting he ever existed. We will be happy and someone will take care of us.

Oh and this was the picture that Sam wanted me to email to him. I just had to tell her, no more e-mails as his fucking papa nelson's off dating someone else. (I cursed a lot today too.)When she asked, I had to explain. So she said,"So he doesn't love you anymore." I had to agree and I told her in time, her wishes will come true and faster if she gets herself well. We will get better, we will forgive, forget and live healthy. Here's to 2008, trashing all the bad memories and moving on to making new happy ones.